Bowen Theory FAQ

I. Introduction

On the Internet many scholarly e-mail discussions and newsgroups, have a FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions). A FAQ is an electronic document that asks and answers typical questions, specific to the content area of the group. The purpose of any FAQ is to establish a baseline of common understanding of the content area that organizes the discussion group. Participants new to the discussion can then gain a level of parity with more experienced participants by reading the FAQ, and not impede the discussion or waste bandwidth.

Upon first reflection, Bowen theory does not lend itself to the format of a FAQ because a basic understanding of the theory comes from the work of defining a self in one’s family, not from reading a list of questions and answers about the theory. However, this new medium of defining a self in cyberspace requires a structure that fits that medium. Thus, the following FAQ on Bowen theory is not a comprehensive presentation of the theory, but rather a tool to help structure dialogue about the theory and its operations.

An important variable for assessing the success of the discussion is how well the discussants can regulate self in the process. This is where the FAQ can serve as a useful device. It can facilitate the discussion by serving as the third and neutral leg of triangles in the emotional system in the discussion. It can accomplish this stabilization by acting literally as a neutral reference, online, much like a dictionary or thesaurus.

It can derive its neutrality from its ability to provide a way to sort out thinking and feeling through the format and content of questions and answers. The answers separate out the principles from the feelings and reactivity present in the questions. In addition, this neutrality can emerge and be maintained because the FAQ is embedded in the context of the electronic medium and can evolve through that very medium as participants contribute to it. Finally, to the extent the FAQ is successful in moderating the discussion to be more principle and theory based, the discussion will be open to a diversity of fields, especially in the sciences, since people will be able to access the theory through this medium which already has a broad access through the Internet.

Although Murray Bowen developed this theory amidst the field of family therapy, and many people who work with the theory are psychotherapists, this FAQ is addressed to a much wider audience. Anyone interested in studying family process is welcome to use this FAQ.

The expectation is that the theory and this FAQ will continually evolve. The structure of the FAQ is designed to allow its development by monitoring consistency with the theory. The theoretical content is drawn solely from Bowen’s writings, not from "second generation" material, with the exception of references to Walter Toman's original work in the sixth concept of Sibling Position. This in no way reflects negatively on the work of those writers; it simply reflects a decision by these authors to structure the FAQ in this particular way to monitor reactivity by keeping a common and consistent reference point.

The current expectation is that further exploration of the theory belongs more in the discussion guided by the FAQ, than in the FAQ itself. Of course, even in the strict adherence to Bowen’s writings, the authors of this FAQ will introduce their own interpretations by the nature of this enterprise. They take responsibility for that in order to organize the creation and implementation of this tool.

What follows is the second version of the FAQ, namely "2.0". Release of this version completes the presentation of all 8 concepts. The expectation is that there will be more versions as part of a continual evolution, perhaps leading to sub-FAQs about specific concepts or other areas. Given this medium and the context of this discussion, contributions from members will be an important part of the development.

Feedback and suggested material should be sent to syrfc@aol.com attn: Thomas J.Schur, Ona Cohn Bregman or James H.Amodio.  Please refer to version #, and concept #, in your subject line.

The following list of misunderstandings is organized by the set of eight concepts of Bowen theory. As the theory developed, Bowen stated that three of the concepts (Differentiation, Triangles, Nuclear Family Projection Process) became primary, in that they related to family process in general (Bowen, p. 362). The next five (Family Projection Process, Multigenerational Transmission Process, Sibling Position, Emotional Cutoff, Societal Regression) address variables more specific to certain processes. Of those five, the last two (Emotional Cutoff, Societal Regression) were added later. These authors will use that order initially, to structure the FAQ.

Three other crucial aspects of the theory complete the introduction for this section on misunderstandings. They are: Natural Systems theory, and Other variables (Degree of integration of self, Anxiety)

The authors understand Bowen theory to be based on his study of Darwin’s work and his own observations of human families. Bowen suspected that emotional illness in humans was connected to their phylogenetic past. He developed his theory to be consistent with the theory of evolution. He considered his systems theory to be different from systems theories which were developed to deal with technology. He called it a natural systems theory to distinguish it from general systems theories. He studied human families and he studied natural systems. He developed his theory out of what he called observable facts.

Bowen describes two variables which are central to his theory and are a key influence on organisms:

1. Degree of integration of self  This refers to differentiation of self which is also the first concept and is discussed at more length in the question/answer section. It relates to adaptability over the long term and the ability to maintain a relatively symptom-free organism.

2. Anxiety  Chronic anxiety (as opposed to acute anxiety) presents the greatest challenge to an organism. Levels of chronic anxiety are part and parcel of the degree of differentiation of self and of symptom formation. It is for this reason that Bowen theory does not focus on symptoms themselves. Chronic anxiety is viewed as contributing to a variety of symptoms in three realms: the emotional, the social and the physical.

Differentiation of self is not about independence or self actualizing. Natural systems theory operates in a different context than individual psychological theories. Differentiation is about integrity of self in a system that includes connection, so that a less reactive self is always part of a relationship system. Differentiation is about the constant struggle to move toward more self regulation as one stays in contact with the system and deals with the pull toward fusion. Therefore differentiation is an ongoing process rather than an achieved state of being.

1.2 If you are a rational person and have learned how to control your feelings, doesn't this mean you are differentiated?

This theory "defines people according to the degree of fusion, or differentiation, between emotional and intellectual functioning" (Bowen, p.362). It is inaccurate to confuse the fused response of a reactive intellectualization, which is a distancing mechanism, with the principled stance of differentiation. The attempt to "control" feelings is actually a state of being out of control, inasmuch as it is an inability to make an adaptive response to changes in the emotional system. The two domains of differentiation, namely distinguishing self and other, and distinguishing emotional and intellectual functioning, are then directly related. The more one can live one’s life on principle, the more one maintains an integrity of self and can engage with others. This is not a permanent state one maintains; it is a direction one moves in, more or less consistently.

This is a common misperception. Feelings are a natural (and essential) part of any human being. Bowen hypothesized the feeling system as a link between the emotional and intellectual systems (Bowen, p. 356). Without that connection, there would be no way to observe self. The focus is on learning how to tune in to feelings as well as think about them. Without feeling, there might not be a way to be in charge of oneself. If one is truly involved in the process of differentiation one must both feel and think. Also, it is often precisely when one is able to think clearly about an issue or pattern in one's life, that one experiences a depth of feeling not possible before. In this process one does not take responsibility for the other's feelings, but only for one's own responses to the feelings of the other.

1.4 Why is there such an emphasis on the individual in this theory? What’s the matter with your feeling good about being part of a family or a group?

It is hypothesized that there is a strong instinctual force for togetherness that propels living systems to join one another and yield integrity in the process (Bowen, p. 218). This kind of connection is called fusion. In a differentiated position, the balance of the force for togetherness and the force for individuality maintains the integrity of the self. It is in this way that the self remains part of the system. The notion here is that the higher the level of differentiation for an individual, the greater the ability to participate in the larger system.

1.5 Why can’t you use the differentiation scale to measure different levels of maturity in family members?

Bowen developed the scale of differentiation as a descriptive way to explain the concept of differentiation in more specific terms (Bowen p. 364). These authors believe he never presented it as an operational tool of measurement. The scale describes a range of functioning, depending on the predominance of one’s intellectual system or the emotional system. It is very easy to take this scale out of its natural systems context, and apply it to people from an individual model of psychology. In addition, even staying within that context, one of the major problems with trying to use it for measurement, is that one person’s functional level of differentiation in a family is contingent on one’s position in the triangles and on the overall stress in the system. It would not be unusual for it to take several generations to arrive at a reasonable assessment of a level of basic differentiation.

It is possible to function at a level that is well above one’s actual level of differentiation when life goes smoothly. It is also possible to appear less differentiated than one actually is at times of extreme stress. Thus there are functional levels of differentiation. Bowen calls the self that is created by, and responsive to context, pseudo self (Bowen p. 473). It can be a variety of selves depending on the context. The basic self is the principled self, the responsible self who is accountable (Bowen, p. 473). It is difficult to tell by looking at an individual’s behavior which is which. It is also difficult to tell within oneself until put to the test of action, and unless the larger intergenerational patterns are known. This complexity currently presents major difficulties in the measurement of levels of differentiation.

1.7 You can always trust your guts when you have to make really important decisions in your life, don’t you think?

This theory postulates that most people live their lives dominated to some degree by the emotional system (Bowen, p. 423). To the extent this ratio of emotional/intellectual system is primarily on the emotional side, the prediction would be that the overall level of functioning would be more reactive. The more functioning is directed by the forces for togetherness in the family system and less by the basic self, the more one’s decisions will have to be made continually on the basis of accommodating the shifts in the emotional system, in an attempt to achieve harmony. Over time this kind of decision making will be less adaptive for that individual because he or she will not have the opportunity to focus on long term goals for themselves.

1.8 Don’t you just have to feel bad sometimes when you operate from a strong value position which people don’t understand, and then reject you?

Operating on principle often leads to conflict and sometimes to reactivity on the part of others in any system. The issue then is not whether one has feelings of distress, but how one responds to the reactivity of others. Bowen stated that only an extreme minority of people functioned at a high enough level of differentiation so that they operated primarily on a principled basis (Bowen, p. 474). Even high functioning people, generally clear about who they are, will yield self under certain stresses. The difference between functioning at this level and lower levels can be seen in better adaptation over time.

There certainly is, as long as one is conscientious about stating that it is one’s own point of view rather than trying to modify that of the other. An individual can take a position that seems to be derived from the intellectual system, but is actually more driven by the forces in the emotional system as reflected in the concern about relationships. Differentiation is about a self focus, whereas trying to change the other to relieve anxiety, is a focus on the other and therefore more of a move toward fusion.

Triangles are the basic building blocks of any emotional system according to Bowen (Bowen, pp. 306-307). When anxiety increases between two people, they automatically involve a vulnerable third party. When anxiety in that triangle increases, it involves others and the system moves toward "a series of interlocking triangles" (Bowen, p 373). Either the inside or the outside position in a triangle may be more or less comfortable depending on the state of the emotional system at the time. It is impossible, according to this theory, for a twosome to have a stable relationship system. There is always a flow of anxiety in any triangle even when there is no overt tension.

2.2 When you like one person better than another, isn't it all right to have a favorite and leave the odd one out?

In times of low stress, the desired position is to be close to another with a third on the outside. By leaving someone out, one is then caught in the inside position of the triangle. To be more neutral it is important to find a way to be more connected to the person in the outside position and less intensely involved with the favorite one.

2.3. Can't you stay out of the triangles in your family by not getting involved in their intense arguments?

There is probably no way to stay out of triangles completely in one's family. If one tries to stay out of the argument, one may actually just be caught in the outside position of the triangle. This is usually the case when the stress is high. To be more neutral it is important to find a way to stay connected to both of the others without taking sides.

When there is conflict in a couple's relationship and neither can adapt, each focuses a great deal of energy on the other. These relationships move between intense conflict and intense closeness. These couples are actually very invested in one another and conflict is the instinctive way they manage the undifferentiation (Bowen, pp. 377-378).

3.2 When your partner obviously has so many more serious problems than you do, how can Bowen say that people couple at the same level of differentiation?

Another instinctive way that a lack of ability to differentiate in a relationship gets manifested, is through dysfunction in one partner. The pseudo self of that person will adapt to the pseudo self of the dominant one (Bowen, p. 473). The latter gradually takes over functioning for the twosome. It may look like one is functioning above the level of the other but this is a reciprocal process.

Another instinctive way that a lack of ability to differentiate in a couple occurs, is by one or more children becoming impaired. In this situation the parents become a "we". This is a universal phenomena and is present in all families to some degree. The degree of impairment is largely determined by the amount of cutoff from one's extended family and the amount of chronic anxiety in the relationship system. It is therefore more a function of the larger processes of the emotional system than just an individual’s parenting skills. Bowen addressed this process more fully in the fourth and fifth concepts, family projection process and emotional cutoff.

Projection, as used in traditional psychological theory, refers to a defense mechanism used by an individual to protect his or her 'ego.' The family projection process is a systems concept, describing the emotional process which operates among all parents and children (Bowen, p. 127). Frequently, the mother becomes overly involved with a particular child or several children, the father joins her in this pattern, and their anxiety is transmitted to the child. If the intensity is great enough, the child who is the focus, can be seriously impaired physically, emotionally, or socially. This concept refers only to interactions in the nuclear family. The larger, intergenerational process, of which the Family Projection Process is a part, is covered in the concept of the Multigenerational Transmission Process (#5).

4.2 Is it really fair to always blame the parents for how their children turn out? Don’t children have to take some responsibility sometimes?

Blame is one dimension of the family projection process, and it obscures the participant’s ability to understand the role of self in the process in terms of responsibility (Bowen, pp. 127-129). Generally the parent blames the child for the distress in the family and the child absorbs the anxiety in blaming self as sick or dysfunctional. The process begins with a fusion of thinking and feeling on the part of the mother about the child, leading to an increasingly anxious examination, looking for signs of deficits. Eventually the deficiencies are found and labelled, and the child becomes treated more and more as inadequate. Bowen then saw the mental health professions as validating this family process in treating an individual as mentally ill (Bowen 130).

4.3 Even though my sister is crazy, my parents are basically competent people and good parents, since they did a fine job raising me. Doesn’t this confirm there really is something wrong with my sister and not the family?

The Family Projection Process operates in all families and all those emotional systems where the group tends to function better at the expense of one member’s dysfunction (Bowen p. 204). Typically one child is more of a focus than others and becomes more impaired as a result. However, there is also a wide range of how extreme the focus and the impairment are. At one extreme is the schizophrenic family. In its typical pattern, as the mother focuses more on the children and less on her husband, with his sensitivity to her anxiety, he supports this direction and the child becomes infantalized.

The Family Projection Process repeats from one generation to the next and thereby introduces the variability of differentiation, depending on one’s lineage (Bowen p. 205). Since people tend to couple at the same levels of differentiation, the child who was the focus in the nuclear family will tend to marry someone at a lower level. The projection process in that nuclear family then will have a more extreme focus on one child. This process will continue to repeat over future generations with the impairment of individuals increasing in severity. However, in all those nuclear families, there will also be children who are not a focus, and will function at higher levels of differentiation later on as parents. There will also be people at the same level as their parents and this part of the family lineage will display a consistency of functioning over time.

It is an oversimplification of this concept to understand it as sentencing a person to a certain way of being. The processes of the emotional system are much larger than an individual and one’s decisions are part of that process. The outcome of one’s own efforts depends on how the anxiety flows through the relationship system, and on how chronic it becomes as members respond to it. An individual person can regulate only his or her own contribution as he or she works on the process of differentiation. This can, make a difference. However, it is also possible to not be adversely affected by negative patterns from previous generations just by being in the right place at the right time, doing no work on differentiation.

There are many people who have experienced poorly differentiated families or childhood trauma and have not repeated those patterns. Much would depend on the person’s ability to regulate self and make thoughtful choices. Knowledge of one’s position in the family system and in its triangles, coupled with a commitment to take responsibility for one’s behavior, is useful. A person who is working on the process of differentiation can use the thinking part of the brain to make a difference in his or her own life and the lives of others as one acts more on principle. This presumes that one maintains contact with one’s family of origin in a non-reactive manner.

Walter Toman has a body of research, with data he has been collecting about family constellations since 1956 (Bowen, pp. 206, 477-478). His results indicate there are differences of behavior, attitude and interest preferences between siblings positions, as well as gender differences for the same positions (Toman p. 141). In addition, these differences are independent of heredity, and cultural variables like social class, ethnic origin, religious affiliation and political predilection (Toman pp. 61, 65). Bowen found Toman’s research results consistent with his observations of family process, and he made sibling position one of the eight concepts of the theory (Bowen, pp. 358, 385).

Toman’s work is sound, formal research with quantitative measures and with results replicated in numerous studies (Toman, pp. 145-146). What makes Bowen theory different from much of the literature on families is that it is a theory of natural systems. Bowen’s position was that Toman worked from an individual frame of reference (Bowen, p. 385), although Toman himself calls his approach "systemic" (Toman, p. 275) In any case, Bowen stated he was able to take Toman’s data and incorporate them into his systems theory, particularly in the concepts of differentiation and family projection process (Bowen, p. 385).

6.3 The description in some of these books on birth order doesn’t fit me at all. Doesn’t that prove your family is not so important in shaping who you are?

Toman’s research was done with families, with an assumption of average conditions (Toman p. 62). Actually this is often not the case because the unexpected always happens. The profiles of normal siblings for each sex serve then as a baseline or reference point for the expected deviations. Toman found deviation to be related to: the particular sibling position of one or both parents, or non-average conditions like unusual age differences (large or small) between siblings, changes of residence, separation from family or losses of family members (Toman, p. 142).Therefore, deviations can often reveal significant information about processes in a family. Bowen used deviation from sibling profiles, as an indication of being caught in the family projection process and consequently functioning at a lower level of differentiation (Bowen, p. 385).

6.4 Even though it may be interesting, how is it helpful to know whether people are youngest or oldest in their family?

Bowen asserted that no single piece of data is more important than sibling position (Bowen p. 385). On the one hand, it can serve as an indicator of the level of differentiation and the extent of being caught in the family projection process. On the other hand, it can provide ‘presumptive knowledge’ of people one has no other information about, who may have lived many generations in the past.

According to the theory, reactive distancing from one’s family that is physical, indicates an unresolved attachment to the parents (Bowen, p. 382). This may reveal itself through problems in maintaining current relationships. While most people have some degree of problematic attachment, at more extremes are the nomad type, who go from one relationship or marriage to another, or become hermits. The principle feature of the cutoff is the denial of the intensity of the emotional attachment to the parents, with a pretense of independence. Living apart from one’s family and not letting oneself get caught in triangles while maintaining contact, is very different from the distancing of cutoff.

7.2 Isn’t it a sign of unhealthy dependence to live with your family or too close to them?

Bowen stated that emotional distancing could take two forms, either physical or internal (Bowen pp. 382, 383). It is possible to live in close proximity to parents and function at a high level of differentiation, depending on the extent of unresolved attachment. Conversely, if the level of fusion is high, it is handled intrapsychically with denial of the attachment and isolation of self, while living with parents. The symptoms then of the internal cutoff could be physical, for example in physical illness; emotional, for example in depression; or social, for example in irresponsible behavior. Bowen stated that many people use a combination of physical and internal emotional distancing (Bowen, p. 536).

7.3 Isn’t it good to protect your children from your crazy parents?

The theory predicts that the more intense the cutoff, the greater the likelihood of repeating the family of origin problems in the marriage and of having one’s own children cut off more intensely in the next generation. As a matter of fact, Bowen found that in families where parents were able to reestablish emotional contact with their families of origin, there was a reduction in anxiety and a ‘softening’ of symptoms (Bowen, p. 383).

7.4 Isn’t the normal fight for independence that occurs in adolescence, the foundation for becoming an independent adult?

Bowen saw the intensity of the fight in adolescence as a struggle for pseudo independence where the teenager acts grown up, as a reflection of unresolved attachment to the parents (Bowen p. 536). He described of the developmental process of a person with a high level of differentiation as beginning in early childhood with a ‘more orderly process of growing away’ that continues into adolescence in a ‘smoother’ way (Bowen, p. 536). Bowen accorded cutoff the status of a separate concept to deal with the importance of emotional process between the generations (Bowen, p. 382).

Initially Bowen described societal process as a cycle of progression and regression with the rise and fall or anxiety (Bowen, p. 415). He then used the label "Emotional Process in Society" to avoid the polarization implied in using one term rather than the other. Later it was his impression that there was indeed evidence that society was moving toward a state of chronic anxiety. He said this manifested itself in the increased reactive behavior of the leaders in society generally, and in the lack of constructive action in managing overpopulation and the depletion of the earth’s physical resources.

There is a constant balance of the natural forces of individuality and togetherness that operates in society just as it does in families. A system will never balance with too much individuality because togetherness forces will counter it. However, if there is too much togetherness as a result of chronic anxiety, there will be less harmony as leaders make more reactive decisions based primarily on the fluctuations of the emotional system, on instinct alone (Bowen pp. 277-78).

Therefore yielding self for a greater good is regressive, as is a reactive insistence on individual rights against the needs of the larger system that affects all the individuals. It is the function of the leaders of society to manage the forces for individuality and togetherness, dealing with the anxiety in the system by acting on principles informed both by knowledge and by logical thinking

8.3 Don’t you think the world would be a better place if people could just work harder to learn to get along with their neighbor?

Bowen stated that unless humans were able to live in more harmony with the natural environment, they would not be able to live in more harmony with one another (Bowen p. 279). The human would be better served if he or she could focus on regulating self instead of attempting to regulate nature (Bowen, p. 281). The human has difficulty accepting that his or her instincts make a major contribution to his or her behavior. The human tends to place self far above other living systems, believing he or she can regulate those systems. In doing so, the connection to other living things is missed.

Corrective action, based on a symptomatic approach is emotionally based and will not alter the regressive course of the environmental problems. A more differentiated society would be composed of people taking more responsibility for self and relying on leaders who can enact solutions based on a high level of thinking with good information.

Bowen came to his understanding of societal process through his observations of families, especially of those with delinquent teenagers (Bowen, p. 273). He saw the same process of operating on instinct and not principle, in the behavior of the parents who yielded to the demands of their teenage children, as in politicians who made reactive decisions in relation to angry citizens (Bowen, pp. 275-276). The reactivity could be either providing what they want or withholding it resentfully. In the case of society, the laws are changed to match the level of regression. Bowen said that crime could not be reduced without reducing the regression (Bowen, pp. 444-45).

One of the manifestations of regression is benevolence in society where certain disadvantaged populations (mental patients, alcoholics, minorities) become a focus (Bowen pp. 444-445), like the child in the family projection process (Concept #4), which is also the process of triangulation (Concept #2). This happens as a function of the level of anxiety in the system when the leaders .are too relationship-oriented to the exclusion of any goal orientation. They tend to be too lenient and, ultimately in a crisis, may actually become punitive. A well differentiated leader would inevitably possess the qualities of caring and sensitivity present in a reactive leader, but not emphasize them as the sole basis for taking action to achieve a goal.

Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. New York: Jason Aronson.

(This collection of Bowen’s writings are the only source for the material in this FAQ, with the exception of Toman’s book for the Concept of Sibling Position)

Toman, W. (1993) #3rd edition. Family constellations. New York: Springer.

Credits

This FAQ was written by Ona Cohn Bregman, and Thomas J. Schur, and edited by
James H. Amodio, all members of the Syracuse Family Center.

About Version 2.0

This FAQ is Version 2.0.0 (November 1996). Each subsequent version will have a date of publication and a version number to distinguish it from previous ones.

For further information please contact James H. Amodio at PO Box 6724 Teall Avenue Station Syracuse, NY 13217-6724 or e-mail <syrfc@aol.com>

Syracuse Family Center
PO Box 6724, Teall Avenue Station
Syracuse, NY 13217-6724
Comments on this page?  Things you would like to see?  E-mail  syrfc@aol.com.